Alias: theda. Sometimes theda b. Don't ask me what the "b" stands for, because I don't know. And no, it is not Bara, Barra, Bera or any other misspelling thereof. I am not a dead film star.

Ethnicity: Ashkanazik (1/4 Litvak, 3/4 Galetziani)

Religion: Devoutly Agnostic. All hail "Bob" anyway.

Edjumucation: I have a BS in Psychology. Yes, I am analyzing you. Quit asking. Some day I'll get a real degree. Just you watch!

Occupation: 3/4-assed freelance art model and slug

Hometown: Home is where the hurt is (bless you, Marc Almond), but I grew up bouncing between central Jersey and eastern Virginia. Now permanently parked in New York City. I'd die without mass transit and 24-hour delivery.

Films That I Just Can't Tire Of: Cabaret, Breakfast at Tiffany's, Gone With the Wind, A Street Car Named Desire, Amadeus, Reservoir Dogs, A Hard Day's Night, The Breakfast Club, Metropolis, Barbarella, Swingtime, Top Hat, Follow the Fleet, Roberta, Chicago, Fight Club, You Can't Take it With You, Kiss Me Kate, The Third Man, The Philadelphia Story, I Am a Fugitive From a Chain Gang, Witness for the Prosecution, Guys And Dolls, They Shoot Horses, Don't They?

Theda-Approved Actors: Fred Astaire, Katharine Hepburn, Audrey Hepburn, Cary Grant, Clark Gable, Vivien Leigh, Tim Roth, Tommy Rall (really more of a dancer), Johnny Depp, Lionel Barrymore

Theda-Approved Directors: Bob Fosse, John Waters, Frank Capra, Busby Berkley, Woody Allen, Charlie Chaplin

TV Rots My Brain: Buffy The Vampire Slayer, The Young Ones, Monty Python, The Monkees, Home Movies, Gilmore Girls, Dollhouse, Lucy Daughter of the Devil, Harvey Birdman Attorney at Law

Novels I'm Not Too Cheap to Buy: The Stranger, Wuthering Heights, Breakfast of Champions, Willard and His Bowling Trophies, Sill Life With Woodpecker, Gone With The Wind, The Hitchhiker's Guide to The Galaxy, Alice in Wonderland and Through The Looking Glass

Authors That Make Me Jealous: Richard Brautigan, Emily Bronte, Douglas Adams, Tom Robbins, Lewis Carroll, Kurt Vonnegut, Jr, Tennessee Williams, Nicolai Gogol, Edgar Allan Poe

My Preferred Literary Device: Irony!

Fictional Characters I Adore: Bernard Micky Wrangle, Marvin the Paranoid Android, Heathcliff, Eeyore, Squee, Spike (of "Buffy the Vampire Slayer"), Rik (of "The Young Ones"), The Cheshire Cat, The Great Tyrant (of Barbarella)

Non-Fictional Characters I Adore: Oscar Levant, Ahmet Zappa, Mike Nesmith, Eddie Izzard

What Fills Up the Rest of My Bookcase: six semesters worth of Psychology texts, an unabridged Oxford dictionary, film history books, two versions of the Bible (both Christian, for some reason), a 1st year German text, my photo albums, a heap of stuffed animals, some children's books, two Poe collections, Jhonen Vasquez comics, smutty photo books, costume history books, Subgenius texts and whatever else I'm forgetting

Songs That I Could Listen To Ad Nauseum: Night and Day (Cole Porter), They Can't Take That Away From Me (George and Ira Gershwin), The Ubiquitous Mr. Lovegrove (Dead Can Dance), Evelyn (Xymox), Wishing (A Flock of Seagulls), The Metro (Berlin), She's In Parties (Bauhaus), Do You Love Me? (Nick Cave), Accidents Never Happen (Blondie), Goodbye Horses (Q. Lazarus), Everybody Knows (Leonard Cohen)

I Own Far Too Many: socks, bras, panties, toys from my childhood, pairs of tights, bottles of nail polish, JPGs of myself, Eeyore-emblazened objects, clothes that I don't wear

Things That Disturb/Annoy Me: loud noise, when strangers touch me, talking to strangers, anyone trying to initiate conversation with me when I've just woken up, people that try too hard to impress others, bad grammar, my own inability to spell, cars, Anime, small children, watching animals injured (even when it's obviously faked), "scenes," dishonesty, being asked how I stay so thin, vegans in leather, spending money, the smell of vanilla, cilantro

Random Things I Like: halloween kitsch, lemon flavored anything, chocolate, effeminate men, drag queens, dancing, film history, musical theatre, 30s period clothing, playing dress up, Clairol hair dye (especially the smell), being a repository of useless facts, NYC, herbal tea, cats, sarcasm, the six other people that seem to like what a bitch I am, vinyl, corsetry